Have you done all you can do? If you have, then stop worrying

In my last post, I talked about life after stroke being a mindset. I talked about the importance of developing a positive attitude and a fighting spirit.

Little did I know that just a day after I wrote those words, my own positive attitude and fighting spirit would be tested and challenged in a way it has never been tested since the day I had my stroke.

I can’t go into details because the situation is still ongoing, but I do know that if I hadn’t developed that positive attitude, that fighting spirit, I could easily have caved in completely over the last fortnight.

The realization that my attitude had changed for the better came quickly. In the hours after receiving some very negative news, I didn’t sit around thinking ‘woe is me, what’s going to happen now?’. Instead, I set about making phone-calls, writing emails, sending text-messages and tweets to those who I thought might be able to help. After all, there is no point in having nearly 1400 Facebook friends, nearly 500 followers on Twitter and over 1200 LinkedIn connections if you can’t call on them when you have a problem, is there?

Not only did all this activity take my mind off the problem, it yielded swift results. Some very influential people came to my aid and I feel better about the situation now than I did two weeks ago. But I did something else, as well. Or rather, I didn’t. I didn’t allow my mind to fill itself with ‘what if?’ scenarios. Constantly asking myself: “Why did I say/do that?’’ or ‘‘What if i’d said this or that’’ would have been my default setting not so very long ago, but I’ve realized in recent weeks that it serves absolutely no purpose other than to make me more stressed.

What’s happened has happened, I can’t change it. All I can do is look forward and consider how I’m going to deal with it. As one of those Facebook friends/LinkedIn connections, a business coach called Croz Crossley, often says when faced with a problem: “Have I done all I can do? Is there anything else I can do?’’. If the answer to those questions is ‘yes’ and ‘no’ respectively, then worrying about it serves no purpose; all you can do is get on with life and face what’s in front of you at the moment.

It wasn’t too long ago that I didn’t ‘get’ that concept and I can’t put my finger on exactly when it did sink in. But now it has and it’s helping me get through at the moment. Maybe I needed to hear it a certain number of times before it got through to my knackered brain. But I’m very glad that it has.